What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman

Author:Jaclyn Friedman [Friedman, Jaclyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Tags: Self-Help, Personal Growth, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Self-Esteem
ISBN: 9781580054300
Publisher: Seal Press
Published: 2011-10-25T00:00:00+00:00

There’s Nothing Wrong with “Being Emotional”

This is a hard one to undo, because you’ve probably been taught the opposite over and over. You know, crying is a sign of weakness, angry women are strident harpies, outspoken women are bitchy. Whatever the stereotype, most of us have been dismissed (or threatened with dismissal) because of our feelings. But your feelings can be a superpower! Knowing and embracing them can give you clarity like nothing else, and that’s the kind of clarity that can get you to what you really really want, both in sex and in life in general. After all, you can’t express your desires or boundaries until you know what they feel like. Think of feelings like a spigot in a sink: There’s just one on/off valve. If you close off anger, you’re closing off your ability to feel joy and satisfaction and pleasure, too. Instead, open the spigot a little at a time, and learn to manage the flow. The energy of your emotions can be like a power plant for your whole life.

Dive In: Meditation is a really fantastic way to make friends with your feelings. Try this very simple practice: In a quiet place, sit upright (if you can) in a comfortable but engaged position. For many people, that’s with their legs crossed, possibly with a pillow under their butt. Or invent your own position. Be sure to do what you need to support your position so that it’s as close to pain-free as possible. Now close your eyes and breathe deeply, slowly, through your nose. Focus on your breath. Feel the air come in, feel it release. Over and over. If thoughts or feelings arise, notice them, but don’t attach. Imagine that they’re clouds floating through the sky. Don’t worry about what the clouds mean. They’re clouds. Don’t worry if they’ll stay or go or change—you know they’ll morph and eventually disappear. Try doing this for ten minutes, and then whenever you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed by or struggling against your emotions.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.